The Brando, Tetiaroa Private Island

Our 3rd visit. Best private island resort, hands down. Wonderful staff (Gigi stood out) and very attentive management (Christophe). Exceptional bar staff. A true paradise. Will come back ASAP. A small effort could be made on food (except for breakfast) given the price level and some snack items could be comp’t in the rooms.

Service was impeccable , kind and caring staff were the icing on the cake . Nothing was too much trouble for them . The beachfront rooms were superb , spacious , comfortable and well laid out . Amazing spa . The lagoon and location was of course top class. Minor criticisms were the mini bar soft drinks should be included in the price and in the restaurants some dishes were called ‘of the day ‘ with no ingedients mentioned so could have been fish , meat or veggie. Overall a stunning experience .

Best and ONLY hotel in the neighborhood Review based on staying at other comparable hotels not based on unrealistic expectations. Overall, I question whether we will come back and I will actively tell my friends not to go (unless there is a renovation of the rooms and new management). Breathtaking location and looks like the pictures. Pinch me beautiful. One thing to keep in mind is that June comes with heavy winds, and all the water is rough. When I was swimming in a place where I couldn't stand, I could not maintain my position and was pushed back by the current. The lagoon is populated with sharks. Each morning we’d see at least two while the sun rose. Scuba diving is similar to Hawaii. There is one main dive spot and the other spots are not nearly as good so over three days did the same spot 3 times. Still enjoyed myself and the instructor is competent, fun, and cares about safety. The spa treatments are similar to other large hotels where the staff knows the basics and you leave relaxed but are not able to deliver a sports massage that helps with pain. The food is fairly high in quantity but the chefs commonly missed basic coooking techniques. A tuna streak was cooked well done with no pink in the middle. The mahi mahi had no golden sear. The overcooked lobster had a rubbery texture. The ravioli where doughy. Raviolis are my favorite food and I didn’t finish the dish. Orders where frequently messed up. I ordered mahi mahi with nut crust and there was no nut crust… Over the course of 10 days, 8 orders at the main restaurant where overtly wrong. Probably the most disappointing was all the bugs in my food! Lots of bugs at breakfast (more than the Luxury Traveler review - would link but links are not allowed). Fairly large bug in my salad one day. The exception is the baker whom I enjoyed eating her baked goods. The room needs a major renovation. It’s a large Sheraton room. The AC leaked on my leg when I sat on the couch. Also housekeeping did not follow some fairly basic asks even after I asked multiple times. When I brought this up to our contacts over WhatsApp, they told me that housekeeping followed the ask. So I had to take pictures of before and after to prove housekeeping did not follow the request. You can see image of tissue with brown on it. The brown came from me having to clean the “clean” coffee cup in the room. So make sure to clean the cups before you use them!

We travel a lot and this place is special. Could not find a thing wrong with any part of the great Hospitality. Great for family and couple. A palce for special occasions. We were there for a 70th Birthday with all ages including friends. A long way to get there from the US but well worth it. The pictures look exactly like that in person. The color of the water is incredible